bluelovesorange: (Default)
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Howl's Moving Castle got turned into an anime by Miyazaki & Studio Ghibli - and in a short answer - No. Both Miyazaki & DWJ are magical, but I feel that the elements that he added to his version of the film overlooked what made the book so special - Sophie and her journey. The romance in the anime seemed a little bit tacked - on while in the book it was just bubbling under the surface, and while the anime is a beautiful piece of film, it's not how I imagined HMC to be. Calcifer was too cute, for one thing.
bluelovesorange: (Default)
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  1. introspective
  2. quiet
  3. ninja
  4. self-aware
  5. pretentious
  6. contradictory
  7. awesome
  8. awkward
  9. sarcastic
  10. female
bluelovesorange: (Default)
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No explanation to me personally, part of a blanket unfriending as I no longer fit in her life and interests at the time. And that's fair. I was hurt and irrationally anxious about it for roughly five minutes - ("This is how the velveteen rabbit feels like. PEOPLE HAVE OUTGROWN ME.") before I decided blanket unfriending was the more polite and civilized way of avoiding people, or worse, being told specifically why I no longer fit in ("Actually, Saff, the truth is, you're an unpleasant old bitch and I don't want to read anything you write because the mere sight of your name sickens me.")

Because bitch, it's always personal. I'm kidding. Actually it happens. Sometimes you want to hang on and other people don't feel the same way. It's awkward as hell, especially if you keep on running into each other at the same virtual coffee spot all the time and then there's the avoidance and stilted small talk and you can't look at each other in the eyes and you don't want to be the person who brings up the avoidance because then it seems like you care and oh my god it's like you're five and alone on the swingset again and hold on, I was talking about the internet, right?

But yes. People have unfriended me and I have deleted people all the time without saying anything, because what can you really say? People change. Interests change. Sometimes the things you bonded over when you're sixteen are the not same things you breathlessly pick apart when you're twenty six. Or you just don't feel like rolling along in the same bandwagon as everyone else because over there is a really nice watering hole and well it was nice knowing you! Any kind of personal expression on the internet that is public operates within a facade/confessional box - you are sharing, but what version of you are sharing? When it becomes public, are you really writing for yourself or are you writing because people are reading? It can shape the narrative even if you strive for genuine candidness.

I strive for truth, and opinion, and bitchassness in amusing ways, but I'm the first to admit that I don't get it right all the time. This LJ is only a facet of my entire personality. There's more things I don't say than there are things I do. And in the end, it's my version of the truth. So if I stay or go or get deleted off a reading list (and I apply this to friending too), it's because my time's done. You can't always go back to the beginning.

But sometimes that's for the best.

short version: I'm totally unpleasant. Go, unfriend.
bluelovesorange: (sanoxmizuki)
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I think it's a twofold thing - society's subliminal and not so subliminal messages about finding The One or at Least Someone, Lest you DIE ALONE, and then our own personal expectations from life, and whether these two schools of thought can co-exist in peace with one another. Because is it greater society, or is it the society of your parents and peers? I don't care what strangers think of my life choices, but I do have some consideration for what my immediate family and friends think.

But in the end, it is my life and I will live it the way I feel suits me. That might be incredibly self-involved, but I don't feel like I can devote myself to another person until I figure out the grand romance that is just living on my own.

Honestly, the pressure I feel around the holidays is the urge to not eat a mound of mashed potatoes bigger than my head. I understand I have different priorities from other people.
bluelovesorange: (akai ito)
[Error: unknown template qotd]happiness - giving it, believing in it, living it, finding it everywhere. I don't go for this 'pursuit' crap. It's there.


bluelovesorange: (Default)

September 2011

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