...but only in my dreams

So here's one of those annoying posts I sometimes (well, all the time in my head, when I have a few minutes to spare) write, the ones that come from the bottom of the paranoia well, when radio silence finally reigns and I admit to myself and the world that I do actually care about what some people think. Mostly you guys.

I've been a bad friend, a flaky friend, a lazy writer. I'm not proud about that and it's not as if the life I'm leading away from this weird little voyeur circus is so awesome that it's excusable. Do you want to know what my days have been like lately when I'm not at work? This is what I do: laundry, and I play Maple Story (this is what happens when neopets and 2-d Final Fantasy for Idiots mate.) World of Warcraft, it is most definitely not.) I stay in my pajamas pretty much all the time. I am a loser hermit playing games on my computer and not: addressing cards, wrapping presents, writing stories, mixing cds, talking to people. The only people I talk to anymore are at work or some friends who are lucky enough to catch me on the days I know where my cellphone is. I'm not smart enough to be the unabomber, but I'm a pillowcase from just degenerating into a wallowing mess. And I miss my grandmother.

So ...I suck, mostly, and I'm sorry about that.

I'm trying to get away to the mountains for New Year's to get rid of all this Rut stuff, so fingers crossed.