...and really bad eggs.

[bluelovesorange]

…and there have been three great cases of jealousy since David of Galilee was first afflicted with the emotion when he could no longer stand the fact that his neighbor Saul's cactus outshone his own. (Originally, jealousy pertained solely to plants, other people's cactus or gingkoes, or, later, when there was grass, grass, which is why, even to this day, we say that someone is green with jealousy.) Buttercup's case rated a close fourth on the all-time list.

   It was a very long and very green night.

-- The Princess Bride, William Goldman

When at a loss for words - always check the Princess Bride. Sums it up quite nicely, I think - I just had to go away for a bit, because I was losing sight of what is important - fun, laughter, real friendship over something so...not important. It was a very unpleasant situation that I just had to evade so I wouldn't say anything I didn't mean, later. I've also decided that fandom is like a strange exotic beast you see in a zoo - you're vaguely interested in it, and some times it'll allow you to pet it once or twice - but sooner or later, it will either eat you alive or crap all over your shoes.

So, yeah - I'm back. Fully rested, complete sense of humor intact - in love with a small portion of the world, etc, etc.

Even though I didn't post to LJ, I did keep writing in my paper journal -- a little outline of my week in Real Life Land:


Listened to Tom Mcrae all day. I feel like I'm wearing petulance like a too-small tshirt that I can't bear to get rid of. I really don't like this feeling, because it's been such a long time since I've gotten angry - and it feels so...odd. I'm not generally like this at all - I like to think that I'm an mildly easy going type of person. One with the Zen and all that. Instead, surprise! Human as ever.


"Honey, don't think" has been on my cd player repeat rotation for two hours. Tom flayed my soul alive, and now Grant is soothing it. I finished Jonathan Carroll's White Apples, finally - and I'm terribly impressed. I'm also inclined to agree with what Neil Gaiman said about his writing - he sees things in such a way that you wonder why you've never thought of - but feels so instinctively natural and right. It's a retelling of the Orpheus and Eurydice myth (again! I seem to have a fondness for this sort of story, though I never did finish Salman Rushdie's The Ground Beneath her Feet, I'll have to renew it again) but that uber-romantic sense of doing anything for the person you're in love with. I've never felt that way, not even when I was seventeen and I thought I was in love. Maybe this is why so much of my original fiction has to do with love - thwarted love, unrequited love, love with no fear, even though I read many different types of stories and write (in my head) about other things instead of just relationships - I want to 'live twice' again, in words. Where things generally go the way I want them to. It is a conceit, but I don't think it's just particular to writers - I think it happens to anyone who creates - the feeling of maybe this time, I can finally be in control of something.

A favorite passage from White Apples -- the first paragraph, actually.

Patience never wants Wonder to enter the house: because Wonder is a wretched guest. It uses all of you but is not careful with what is most fragile or irreplaceable. If it breaks you, it shrugs and moves on. Without asking, Wonder often brings along dubious friends: doubt, jealousy, greed. Together they take over; rearrange the furniture in every one of your rooms for your own comfort. They speak odd languages but make no attempt to translate for you. They cook strange meals in your heart that leave odd tastes and smells. When they finally go are you happy or miserable? Patience is always left holding the broom.

PoTC soundtrack comes out today.

...

I went to four places to buy it. Came up with nothing. Disney's seriously slacking on the ball here - I can't believe in corporate domination anymore, clearly. I even went to Wal-mart. I rarely go to Wal-mart, as I am afraid the multi-dimensional vortex by the stock room will eat me.

Fuck you, retail. I'm going online to buy it.


On the very bad days, insecurity sounds remarkably like my mother. Usually she's far off in the distance, the waah waaah of Charlie Brown's teacher. Hovering.

When I finally move out of the house, when I physically exist in a plane separate from her - I wonder how I'll change. For so long I've been my father's daughter, especially in the bad times. All my bad traits have been blamed on him - this ghost of a man I never knew. I'd like to think that I'm blameless, that the Amy Tan chapters of my life will end soon - but the truth is that I am not the daughter she wanted. I am not as good of a daughter as I should have been. I am the daughter she copes with, that I'm as alien to her as she is to me. Frustrating. For that, I'm a little sorry.

Leonard Cohen's "A thousand kisses deep" has crawled inside me and devoured my spine.


I have decided that a girl is allowed more than one gay husband.

NBC did a sneak primetime showcase of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy after Will&Grace, so I could finally see My Show on regular television. I love them all. I want them all. Henceforth, I've planned we should all live in a gay commune in Colorado, and I'll be the girl who waters the flowers or something.

Fabulous five, indeed.

I also saw the commercials for the American version of "Coupling." When will people realize that re-makes are almost always terrible? The irony is that that Coupling is the British answer to Friends, only it's about ten times more funny, and at least upfront about the fact that the characters want to get with one another-as opposed to the quasipsuedoincestual vibe the Friends have and the ...'oh, we're just going to suddenly pair up with each other, neat as pie over the seasons, because no!new!castmembers!" Rachel and Ross can bite me.


Sometimes the only right answer is: FUCK OFF, I'M THE QUEEN.


Have made plans to meet up with pyrifera, ragingpixie, agentotter for yet another showing of Pirates of the Caribbean at the El Capitan theater in Hollywood, Sunday morning. Am delirious with glee - partly because of this - but also because have spent the day with Paul - we went to Rowland Heights to get his mother a new teapot, we ate at the boat, I was thisclose to buying Mashimaro seat covers for my car, thereby declaring it the AZN of all AZN cars, but Paul saved me from total native subculture assimilation by reminding me a bloated cartoon rabbit does not age well.

Also: rewrote my agenda:

1. World Tomination
2. Clean Room
3. Maintain Cleaness in Room
4. Fluently Learn Chinese
5. Have Sex with Diego Luna
....

Have found the Havana Nights movie trailer - and while it may be the most Velveeta of trailers - I am in serious lust over Diego Luna again (or actually, still am. It was just a low simmer. Now it's on boil.) What could be better than Patrick Swayze saying the immortal line, "No one puts Baby in the corner..." Clearly, it is Diego Luna dancing. He's got moves. And I love the music featured in the trailer - it always sounds like it's from the heart directed immediately to the hips and just...rwaaarrrrrrrrrrr. Sex, sex, sex!
...


Am Dead. PoTC soundtrack came today - from Ontario, Canada (!) along with two surprise presents from my twinkie - the Chungking Express soundtrack and Wings of Desire, the infinitely superior movie that City of Angels was based on. Yes I'm a terrible snob. I've already accepted this, you should too.

I love everything.



Is it possible to die from too much pretty? Inquiring minds want to know. Spent the most important part of the day with my cinnamon and T&L and we saw T&L's new apartment - nifty hardwood floors, lovely open spaces - for the first time. We had bagels. Pre-this, tink and I listened to PoTC on the way over - and I'm terribly fond of THE DRUMS OF DOOM.

Pirates of the Caribbean at the El Capitan really was an experience - despite the questionable preference over VIP seating (Goddammit, I am Special, why can't you Peons see that?!) there was the 'famous Wurlitzer Organ', and an impressive lighting display, plus costumes and props from the movie were on display in the basement afterwards - Orli's costume is a bit broader around and taller than T&L expected, but I know My Boyfriend is of almost 'Normal Type People' Proportions. *G*

Keira's purple wine dress was there as well, and she really is quite statesque - of course her waist is about the size of my thigh, but she is the Girlcrush DuJour. Mmmmmmm. Keira.

I made scans of the ELLE issue with Keira, so icons will be appearing shortly from that. But....

1.

quote- Eddie Izzard
2.

lyric - R.E.M.
3.
4.

Very very experimental, this one. But hey - my namesake song - Crush with Eyeliner, by R.E.M.

also from the Elle article - "Cancel and continue----that's what Sha [her mother] has taught me," says Knightley of her mother. "Acting is like the fashion business. You're in for the moment and then you're out. I have to get to 50 so I can play Eleanor of Aquitaine in The Lion in Winter. That's my dream role. Katharine Hepburn and Vivien Leigh are my heroes. Not because of their ability, but because of their perseverance."

and on that corset: "I made it to 19. And except for the day I almost fainted, I kind of enjoyed it. It's the only thing that's going to give me cleavage."

--in response to the writer's ohsowitty remark about L.A.'s towering skylines (ahem) "Oh, please. That's not proper cleavage. One might as well insert soccer balls in there."

Yes, I really do like this girl.

and one PoTC icon for the road, I have a few more to post, but I'm trying to pace myself.

5.

Postscript: I played "Just like blood" for Tink on the way home. She liked it. I am seriously gleeful.



Laalalalalalaalaaa, then.


....I've got a lot of LJs to catch up on, don't I?

Damn.

Comments

INCONCIEVABLE!

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

"Life is pain; anyone who tells you different
is selling something."

[voleuse.livejournal.com]

Fuck you, retail. I'm going online to buy it.

You too? I can't believe how much time I spent hunting in the heat, on the off chance I would save a couple of bucks. Sigh.

Border's didn't have it....

[crushw-eyeliner.livejournal.com]

Target didn't have it....it was like a black hole had appeared and swallowed up the PoTC stock. Everyone told me the same thing, 'We were supposed to get it today, but it didn't arrive.'

But yeah. I bought it from an amazon zshop on wednesday, and I got it in the mail on Saturday.

Bless those canadians.

[hostile17girl.livejournal.com]

I love The Princess Bride. Yay.

[smithereen.livejournal.com]

That's my dream role. Katharine Hepburn and Vivien Leigh are my heroes.

Awww. Your girlfriend loves my girlfriend. I feel warm and fuzzy. *g*

Also LOVE the dog w/ keys icon. HEE!

So glad you are back in LJ-land!

isn't she luuuuuuurvveeeelly?

[crushw-eyeliner.livejournal.com]

thanks! The dog scene in PoTC always makes me giggle in S.California solidarity. Which is a very rare thing.

;)

it's good to be back