I was Stanley Donwood on a quiz once.

I found 10 dollars in an old purse in my closet (don't you love that when it happens?) and two dollars in my wallet - so I went to Target (thanks Ryan) and bought Hail to the Thief.

I've only listened to one song so far (i took it out of its package as soon as i bought it and put in my car cd player) - but here are 14 things

You can go home again (former co-worker cornered me by the magazine section and informed me there was an article in Rolling Stone about the man with the 13 and a half inch cock)

I am a geek (I own Mrs. Eaves - the font used for the booklet typography)

Looking at it, I feel (like this is an Edward Gorey dream)

No one does it like you (only Thom can sing about mutilated cats)

I like the skin right above the curve into your bottom (Everyone wants to be an airbrushed pinup, I only want to be Louise Brooks)

do you fall in love with blow up dolls? (I have yet to meet someone who can say 'bourgousie pig' and mean it)

pretension will never go out of style (and neither will the 10 million ....)

alex was a creepy smiling bastard (and I'll never apologize for seventh grade)

the death of the it girl and other small things (we want to sit outside 24 hour fitness and stalk them)

you are my apostrophe (so you met the boy who uses 'fuck' as punctuation)

big girls know better (hang off the tree and see if i can't catch you)

noone is really beautiful (but I makebelieve you are)

the young bridegroom (plays strings and eats peanut butter jelly before killing)

get off my case. (almond eyes. vacant expression. Big boots.)

I am a tourist in your infinite design - as meaningless as a hallmark card and as cutting as five tequila slammers and a bad dye job.