they've been selling lies to you in all the top 40 songs

sinonymity nudged me about making a holiday wish list (and if you guys have made one, please let me know in the comments - I'd like to see if there is something I could do for you) and it was hard, probably harder than the anonymous comment meme (which I think I may not do after all. Oops.) Mostly because it's the circumstances I'm in and the chill in the weather and how I just seem to be in a half awake state these days. I'm so tired.

if wishes were horses - I'd be galloping away

1. Someone to go to Japan with me. I like South Korea a lot. In fact, I'm looking out for a way to stay for another year, but with another school (PUBLIC) and another boss (A MILLION TIMES THIS), but right now it is very much WORK to me. I want to play and get away. I'm done with being an independent lone wolf, I need to be up with people. In Japan. I'm thinking of doing a mini break in February. This wish may be adapted to become Seoul if funds become tight, but yeah...a traveling companion.

2. My co teacher really likes gummy bears. The gummy candy they have in Korea is fine, but it's not gummy bears or Swedish fish, and since she's been a life saver in some tough jams, I'd like to get some gummy bears for her (and swedish fish!). amezri is sending me gummy bears and also American Junk Food (TM)

3. An email or a letter (pending my new mail address, obviously). Tell me about your life. I've been a shitty correspondent and lost touch with some people - I get it, we're all busy, but I'd really like to reconnect/or connect with you again. Why are you my friend? Or if you don't feel like that, tell me a story. I love stories.

4. A jetpens.com gift certificate or a pro flickr account upgrade

5. Mix cds. I used to love making these. It was one of my many semi-useful skills and I made them for everyone regardless of whether I had a crush on them or not. I even used to make mix tapes (this was in the dinosaur era and there are some embarrassing ones I made for a boy I was in love with internet flirting with when I was all of seventeen years old) and usually I made them because I wanted to share some music I really loved with the people I loved/liked/wanted to impress my musical inclinations on/just thought their day needed something.

I think I was pretty good at making a mix cd but there's always the worry that some people just aren't going to get it - musical taste being subjective and all, but I like to think I had more hits than misses. Then I got this amazing email from mistakency, who graciously let me quote her -

But this CD - it's just! Four years later and the transitions are perfect! I cannot believe no one else gets to enjoy them! That's a crime.

This afternoon I was listening to the untitled one that begins with Esthero raging about Ashanti, and I want to tell you that I played it during a high school trip once and everyone went silent and listened when "Calculation Theme" came on. AND THEN THAT ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE I LOVED WENT HOME AND DOWNLOADED THEMSELVES SOME METRIC. aaaaah favorite moment for life, and you were responsible.

And then I remember the time I was in Scotland on a tour bus and I brought along some mix cds and I sidled up to the (unnervingly attractive) guide/driver and asked him if he could play the cd and he smiled at me and said yes, and we listened to a lot of Scottish indie and good old fashioned anthem rock and yes, I snuck in Travis - because SCOTLAND. I may not remember all the songs that were on the cd - I have a bad habit of not writing down lists for many of my mix cds when they're for me, but I remember the feeling of being on that bus, my head against the window watching the highlands blur and being so happy that I was there, in that moment and place.

Music to me is as necessary and food and air and someone I love saying my name. It's essential.