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bluelovesorangeI haven't really been talking about my proposed study abroad trip to London next semester, because I am in the belief camp that if you talk about something that *might* happen too much, it doesn't happen. However, the deadline for the application is on November 10. I'm turning it in today - along with my 450 dollar deposit. I might also be talking about flying fees with the coordinator. At this point, it's really the 11,000+ dollar question - if I can't go, it's only because of money.
Last night I took my relative to Staples, and then to a pizzeria - showing her the local sights, as it were - and all the while I was doing this, I kept on thinking...next year, in January, this could be me - wandering around a giant conglomerate office supplies store while someone patiently explains to me why, no, buying 20 boxes of stick on labels is not a sensible idea.
I'm so terrified.
I haven't left the country after I was three years old - and that was me returning to the United States from Taiwan. My passport is allegedly going to arrive in December, well before my proposed flight date. I look like a disgruntled cannery worker in it, but the point is - I have a passport. Legalities and money issues aside, I could theoretically pick up my bags and just leave for another country now.
I've never had that kind of freedom.
I don't know if this is going to be the Next Big Thing in my life, or if it's just another detour in a life that is just starting to get interesting...
List of Irrational Fears I have about leaving the United States and Living and Studying in London, England
1. What if my homestay family hate me, or expect me to be overly jolly and 'sunny California'? I don't just turn that stuff on, you know.
2. What if my roommate is a noisy masturbator?
3. I've done my laundry by hand, ever since our washing machine/dryer dyed eons ago. Are the rules the same for washing in machines - whites with whites, brights with brights, no blacks or colors, etc? And when should I use bleach?
4. What if I'm the oldest undergraduate there and people will be looking at me like I'm Grandma Moses? Late bloomers are fine, but lately I've been feeling.....ergh.
5. I can't diagram a sentence. I'm going to England, where they invented English - my grammar is still appalling. OMG, AM STUPID.
Um...yeah. That's the list I have so far. I haven't really thought about things like calling cards, where to eat, what to pack (except layers are key, I hear), which library I should hit first, and if I should spend all my free time in the gay clubs, because their music is better.....
oh, and I have a midterm paper to finish/write.
also, George/Mason? So my OTP. Even in a non-romantic way, just the two of them together, it's perfect.
Last night I took my relative to Staples, and then to a pizzeria - showing her the local sights, as it were - and all the while I was doing this, I kept on thinking...next year, in January, this could be me - wandering around a giant conglomerate office supplies store while someone patiently explains to me why, no, buying 20 boxes of stick on labels is not a sensible idea.
I'm so terrified.
I haven't left the country after I was three years old - and that was me returning to the United States from Taiwan. My passport is allegedly going to arrive in December, well before my proposed flight date. I look like a disgruntled cannery worker in it, but the point is - I have a passport. Legalities and money issues aside, I could theoretically pick up my bags and just leave for another country now.
I've never had that kind of freedom.
I don't know if this is going to be the Next Big Thing in my life, or if it's just another detour in a life that is just starting to get interesting...
List of Irrational Fears I have about leaving the United States and Living and Studying in London, England
1. What if my homestay family hate me, or expect me to be overly jolly and 'sunny California'? I don't just turn that stuff on, you know.
2. What if my roommate is a noisy masturbator?
3. I've done my laundry by hand, ever since our washing machine/dryer dyed eons ago. Are the rules the same for washing in machines - whites with whites, brights with brights, no blacks or colors, etc? And when should I use bleach?
4. What if I'm the oldest undergraduate there and people will be looking at me like I'm Grandma Moses? Late bloomers are fine, but lately I've been feeling.....ergh.
5. I can't diagram a sentence. I'm going to England, where they invented English - my grammar is still appalling. OMG, AM STUPID.
Um...yeah. That's the list I have so far. I haven't really thought about things like calling cards, where to eat, what to pack (except layers are key, I hear), which library I should hit first, and if I should spend all my free time in the gay clubs, because their music is better.....
oh, and I have a midterm paper to finish/write.
also, George/Mason? So my OTP. Even in a non-romantic way, just the two of them together, it's perfect.
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Date: 2004-10-26 02:32 pm (UTC)i can almost guarantee you they won't expect you to be sunny california and if they hate you, you can leave! they can always give you someone else (speaking as a victim of the my-homestay-hates-me affliction while i was in Germany, they kept moving me until i found one i liked) :) and noisy masturbating? could be funny! your laundry skills are spot on, so go with what you know. you only really bleach stuff when it's white and getting dingy, right? don't worry about it. and besides, you dont' look old so no one is goign to care. i'm beyond sure there are tons of people your age or older there...
grammar...*phears with you* it'll be fine. they'll just go "oh she's American" and get over it :)
goooood luck on your midterm. sorry i laughed at your fears. i really really really hope you get to go. it'd give me an excuse to visit you :)