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bluelovesorangePeople. Denizens. Friends and readers. Hey. Happy Birthday!
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” & “Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I've been thinking about these quotes for a while and like a hypochrondiac who's read through her encyclopedia of really interesting diseases and decides that she has everything, I've been thinking about how apt those quotes are in regards to my life.
I have these epiphanies every couple of years, usually around the time of a great triumph or more usually a great lull, when I am alone with my thoughts and think about stupid things.
So I have made the commitment to tackle a second year in Korea, and have already applied for the necessary documents, joined up with a new agency and recruiter and made the obligatory embarrassing introductory video. Fun fact - I am not telegenic either. There are jobs available, but because the background check from the FBI takes so long, all I can do is wait. Then after I get the most important documents, I have to mail them to the Secretary of State to get them apostilled and then negotiations can begin. I hope to be back in Korea by the fall season.
So while I'm waiting, I've been doing things. Not all of them productive, but they're definitely things that I couldn't do/didn't do enough of when I was away.
1. Read
I've been going to the library pretty much every week. I made a challenge at goodreads.com to read 10 books for this year, but when I read 7 books in one week, I upped it to 20. I just finished Furious Love, about Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor's condemned by the Vatican epic affair/romance. It was really page-turning, gulp all the words in one sitting stuff for the first 100 pages or so. Then it slowed down. Now I'm reading David Nicholl's One Day and Curtis Sittenfield's American Wife. After I finish those, I have Lorrie Moore's Birds of America and Shirley Jackson's We have always lived in the Castle.
I also bought a Kindle. It's the ad supported 114 dollars wireless only version, and it's been an interesting experience so far. Nothing can replace a real book for me, but as a supplementary device, I think the Kindle is okay. It is glare free, and I've read in both dim and natural lighting with no eye strain. I immediately loaded it with Diana Wynne Jones and Terry Pratchett, and I really like the first chapter free sample tryout in the Kindle store. I've found a lot of free classics (Austen, Doyle) and loaded it onto my Kindle as well. Once my modern literature binge is over, I'm going to read Anna Karenina, because I managed to avoid reading Russian literature while I was in college. I did not however escape Melville. (I am missing the boat on Moby Dick. I read it, and I cannot remember very much about it.)
While I'm sure the selection of the Kindle shop is impressive, I call foul for a)not a lot of poetry, b)unless the book is deemed a classic, some books that are out of print can only be bought in physical form or are not listed at all (Amazon US, no Archer's Goon? Really?) and I have not tried this yet - but I am not sure if you can buy from all the different Amazons (Japan, UK, France?) or if you are stuck with just your default country.
I purchased Emma Forrest's memoir and read it in a day and a half. She talks candidly (sometimes floridly) about her struggle with mental health issues, cutting, bulimia, suicide attempts, and how her family and her therapist helped her. Also yes, she had a relationship with Colin Farrell and mentions him, or a creative plot device that sounds like him as Gypsy Husband or GH throughout the book. Do not let this put you off. It's not about him, it's about her and the bad life choices she made. Is it self indulgent? A little bit. But I think all memoirs are like that, because it can be really difficult to be objective about one's life.
I think there is the danger of verging into privileged/entitled cluelessness, much like the storm of exasperation/anger aimed at the Eat Pray Love/Gwyneth Paltrow lifestyle brand/freakshow tour of last year and this year, ad nauseum - but I also think that falls into people's perceptions of class.
Are there rich people (or extremely comfortably well off) people who take their wealth and privilege for granted and are incurable shit balls? Absolutely. Does that environment breed entitled, myopic minded individuals who do not have to cope with the curveballs that life pitches at 'normal' folk, because they have money (AND HEALTH INSURANCE), and money can help a lot? Oh yes.
And are there comfortably well off people who are gracious, kind, and give back to society not for tax purposes but because they actually want to help other people? That situations of having money doesn't strip them from being basically good human beings. The kind of people we laud for not being showy with their wealth, or not living in gated communities, and being authentic. Yeah. I know a couple of them. And I know that whether the wealth was inherited or earned, that they worked hard for it, and they do the best they can.
Are there good people who are blue collar white collar working stiffs? Obviously, most of our sitcoms are based around them, and you know Hollywood is based on reality. [/sarcasm]
And are there absolute miserable people who are middle class or lower who would shank you in the eye for a little bit of prestige or perceived social/monetary benefit? Reality tv, people.
So you know - it isn't about money in the end. It's about if you are a good person. I strive toward not being an asshole in my day to day life, and sometimes I fail. I still have trouble with being kind toward my fellow man, though I'm getting better about being open toward women. (Basically, I have issues with people, but because I'm very quiet on first glance, people assume I don't have anything to say, or just talk at me, because I'm such a great listener.)
And of course the problem with that is that words don't get said and I just fester until little throw away moments become great epic stories of betrayal and missed opportunities. And it's not something I like about myself, and I'm trying very hard to correct it.
2. Conversations
My favorite conversations are like improv (thank you Tina Fey! I did read Bossypants, and it was good, if a little light. Samantha Bee's memoir was strangely disappointing to listen to.) and there has to be the give and take. Nowadays I feel like with some of the people I talk to, I'm holding the entire conversation (hostage) on my side and it's upsetting me more than it should. I have been alive for a while and I've worked at enough soul killing corporate jobs to understand why small talk is necessary - to ease into the heart of the conversation, but like my word vomit post lamented, I really do feel like that with every sure, is just a prolonged horribly awkward good bye.
I am either oversensitive or not sensitive enough.
Stopgap: stop speaking.
Or maybe I should just take dance lessons like I wanted to. Keeping busy means I have less time to overanalyze things that are nothing.
Or it's just a preemptive step toward single lady attic belfrey catdom. (Speaking of which, I will be glad when I am 31, because that's another year down to project cat. I have decided to get a cat within the next five years, because it's ridiculous that I don't.) I need to have a job, a residence, and health insurance. I mean, I should have all of these things anyway, but if I'm going to be taking care of a cat, I'd like to think I am capable of taking care of myself. Which - right now.....is not all true. I'm living, not caring.
3. Hanging out with friends and doing of things
I saw![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eowyn797 a while ago, and it was something great. We went to Home Depot, swatched paint samples, did a mini extreme room makeover, I met her roommate's cats, we had yummy yummy Korean food (the best thing about Korea, I'm only half-kidding), she gave me a bag of nail polishes- seriously, her organization system for her nail polishes and makeup - I AM JEALOUS. I love tiny drawers! we saw Thor for really really cheap at Universal City Walk, and there were donut holes. I mean, perfect day or the most perfect day? And there were car conversations and really, she is one of my favorite people in the world, and we should hang out more.
Lest we become sad hermits with really good manicures.
And last week, I spent time with Sh and the gay boyfriends and there was bowling, excellent Vietnamese food, lots of yelping! (serious, I could spend a day just driving around to Yelp!approved Asian bakeries), the movie Bridesmaids (does it need that scene infamous in the trailers about food poisoning? No. Did I laugh? Yes.)
Next weekend, I'll be seeing JYJ with Sh and another friend of ours. It is going to be the raddest, lamest thing ever. (The Lame- Ayyy Girl. The rad awesomeness - EVERYTHING ELSE.)
And a part of it would not have been possible without the help ofsinonymity so for that, much love.
It'll be my first big theater gig in a long time - the last one I went to was Death cab for cutie, and I fell asleep at the end, so.....
I doubt that'll happen this time around.
4. Writing
I need to do more of it. There's this and my tumblr.
5. TV
I dled and watched all of the Mighty Boosh while I was in Korea. I now understand Noel Fielding's bizarre charm. But I must say I prefer Julian.
NBC comedy block - Community, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation
Community has some great, really excellent episodes, but I think their season cohesiveness is lacking, as is the overall arc. Troy and Abed remain my favorites of everything though.
30 rock - I dip in and out of the episodes with no real attachment to any of the characters. They're amusing, like well written skits of SNL.
Parks and Recreation - everyone's new girlfriend. I love that my friends love this - I've seen the first season and part of the new season, and....I like it, it's pleasant, but I'm not in love.
Bob's Burgers - a Judy Blume novel meets Monty Python and Sesame Street. I just watched the entire season recently, and I don't know, it appeals to me more than the Simpsons, Family Guy or American Dad. The kids are so weird and bizarre and yet recognizable. And I love Kristen Schaal's voice.
Maybe I just really miss the Venture Brothers. That could be it.
Neil Gaiman's Dr. Who Episode. If anyone can make me watch Dr. Who (I've never been interested in the mythology despite my affection for Wales and odd men in phone boxes), it is Uncle Neil. I liked it. And I do not wish to seek out more. Feel free to shun me.
6. my itouch
Even though I basically spent 400 dollars to use a mp3 player as a camera, it has turned out to be a great purchase, and I'm glad I did it. My favorite apps - hipstamatic, camera+, stitcher, meebo, tweetdeck, talkatone, swankolab, This American Life, iHome + Sleep, AppShopper, and Van Pershing (I still can't get past level 5!). I just started playing Words With Friends, and even though I may be the queen of 7 point words, it's still something.
7. donut holes & walking
Since I share the car, I've been walking more often. Not to the library, as that's too far, but to places like the grocery store and the bowling alley and okay, the donut shop that exists in nearly every town. The one that's in a strip mall.
Donut holes are my new indulgence. They're the perfect size and just the right amount of sweetness (I like the original glazed the best over the cakey, powdered ones) and they're cheap. So yay, donut holes.
8. digital mix tapes
There are tons here and I am downloading every one of them, you better believe.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” & “Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I've been thinking about these quotes for a while and like a hypochrondiac who's read through her encyclopedia of really interesting diseases and decides that she has everything, I've been thinking about how apt those quotes are in regards to my life.
I have these epiphanies every couple of years, usually around the time of a great triumph or more usually a great lull, when I am alone with my thoughts and think about stupid things.
So I have made the commitment to tackle a second year in Korea, and have already applied for the necessary documents, joined up with a new agency and recruiter and made the obligatory embarrassing introductory video. Fun fact - I am not telegenic either. There are jobs available, but because the background check from the FBI takes so long, all I can do is wait. Then after I get the most important documents, I have to mail them to the Secretary of State to get them apostilled and then negotiations can begin. I hope to be back in Korea by the fall season.
So while I'm waiting, I've been doing things. Not all of them productive, but they're definitely things that I couldn't do/didn't do enough of when I was away.
1. Read
I've been going to the library pretty much every week. I made a challenge at goodreads.com to read 10 books for this year, but when I read 7 books in one week, I upped it to 20. I just finished Furious Love, about Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor's condemned by the Vatican epic affair/romance. It was really page-turning, gulp all the words in one sitting stuff for the first 100 pages or so. Then it slowed down. Now I'm reading David Nicholl's One Day and Curtis Sittenfield's American Wife. After I finish those, I have Lorrie Moore's Birds of America and Shirley Jackson's We have always lived in the Castle.
I also bought a Kindle. It's the ad supported 114 dollars wireless only version, and it's been an interesting experience so far. Nothing can replace a real book for me, but as a supplementary device, I think the Kindle is okay. It is glare free, and I've read in both dim and natural lighting with no eye strain. I immediately loaded it with Diana Wynne Jones and Terry Pratchett, and I really like the first chapter free sample tryout in the Kindle store. I've found a lot of free classics (Austen, Doyle) and loaded it onto my Kindle as well. Once my modern literature binge is over, I'm going to read Anna Karenina, because I managed to avoid reading Russian literature while I was in college. I did not however escape Melville. (I am missing the boat on Moby Dick. I read it, and I cannot remember very much about it.)
While I'm sure the selection of the Kindle shop is impressive, I call foul for a)not a lot of poetry, b)unless the book is deemed a classic, some books that are out of print can only be bought in physical form or are not listed at all (Amazon US, no Archer's Goon? Really?) and I have not tried this yet - but I am not sure if you can buy from all the different Amazons (Japan, UK, France?) or if you are stuck with just your default country.
I purchased Emma Forrest's memoir and read it in a day and a half. She talks candidly (sometimes floridly) about her struggle with mental health issues, cutting, bulimia, suicide attempts, and how her family and her therapist helped her. Also yes, she had a relationship with Colin Farrell and mentions him, or a creative plot device that sounds like him as Gypsy Husband or GH throughout the book. Do not let this put you off. It's not about him, it's about her and the bad life choices she made. Is it self indulgent? A little bit. But I think all memoirs are like that, because it can be really difficult to be objective about one's life.
I think there is the danger of verging into privileged/entitled cluelessness, much like the storm of exasperation/anger aimed at the Eat Pray Love/Gwyneth Paltrow lifestyle brand/freakshow tour of last year and this year, ad nauseum - but I also think that falls into people's perceptions of class.
Are there rich people (or extremely comfortably well off) people who take their wealth and privilege for granted and are incurable shit balls? Absolutely. Does that environment breed entitled, myopic minded individuals who do not have to cope with the curveballs that life pitches at 'normal' folk, because they have money (AND HEALTH INSURANCE), and money can help a lot? Oh yes.
And are there comfortably well off people who are gracious, kind, and give back to society not for tax purposes but because they actually want to help other people? That situations of having money doesn't strip them from being basically good human beings. The kind of people we laud for not being showy with their wealth, or not living in gated communities, and being authentic. Yeah. I know a couple of them. And I know that whether the wealth was inherited or earned, that they worked hard for it, and they do the best they can.
Are there good people who are blue collar white collar working stiffs? Obviously, most of our sitcoms are based around them, and you know Hollywood is based on reality. [/sarcasm]
And are there absolute miserable people who are middle class or lower who would shank you in the eye for a little bit of prestige or perceived social/monetary benefit? Reality tv, people.
So you know - it isn't about money in the end. It's about if you are a good person. I strive toward not being an asshole in my day to day life, and sometimes I fail. I still have trouble with being kind toward my fellow man, though I'm getting better about being open toward women. (Basically, I have issues with people, but because I'm very quiet on first glance, people assume I don't have anything to say, or just talk at me, because I'm such a great listener.)
And of course the problem with that is that words don't get said and I just fester until little throw away moments become great epic stories of betrayal and missed opportunities. And it's not something I like about myself, and I'm trying very hard to correct it.
2. Conversations
My favorite conversations are like improv (thank you Tina Fey! I did read Bossypants, and it was good, if a little light. Samantha Bee's memoir was strangely disappointing to listen to.) and there has to be the give and take. Nowadays I feel like with some of the people I talk to, I'm holding the entire conversation (hostage) on my side and it's upsetting me more than it should. I have been alive for a while and I've worked at enough soul killing corporate jobs to understand why small talk is necessary - to ease into the heart of the conversation, but like my word vomit post lamented, I really do feel like that with every sure, is just a prolonged horribly awkward good bye.
I am either oversensitive or not sensitive enough.
Stopgap: stop speaking.
Or maybe I should just take dance lessons like I wanted to. Keeping busy means I have less time to overanalyze things that are nothing.
Or it's just a preemptive step toward single lady attic belfrey catdom. (Speaking of which, I will be glad when I am 31, because that's another year down to project cat. I have decided to get a cat within the next five years, because it's ridiculous that I don't.) I need to have a job, a residence, and health insurance. I mean, I should have all of these things anyway, but if I'm going to be taking care of a cat, I'd like to think I am capable of taking care of myself. Which - right now.....is not all true. I'm living, not caring.
3. Hanging out with friends and doing of things
I saw
eowyn797 a while ago, and it was something great. We went to Home Depot, swatched paint samples, did a mini extreme room makeover, I met her roommate's cats, we had yummy yummy Korean food (the best thing about Korea, I'm only half-kidding), she gave me a bag of nail polishes- seriously, her organization system for her nail polishes and makeup - I AM JEALOUS. I love tiny drawers! we saw Thor for really really cheap at Universal City Walk, and there were donut holes. I mean, perfect day or the most perfect day? And there were car conversations and really, she is one of my favorite people in the world, and we should hang out more.Lest we become sad hermits with really good manicures.
And last week, I spent time with Sh and the gay boyfriends and there was bowling, excellent Vietnamese food, lots of yelping! (serious, I could spend a day just driving around to Yelp!approved Asian bakeries), the movie Bridesmaids (does it need that scene infamous in the trailers about food poisoning? No. Did I laugh? Yes.)
Next weekend, I'll be seeing JYJ with Sh and another friend of ours. It is going to be the raddest, lamest thing ever. (The Lame- Ayyy Girl. The rad awesomeness - EVERYTHING ELSE.)
And a part of it would not have been possible without the help of
sinonymity so for that, much love. It'll be my first big theater gig in a long time - the last one I went to was Death cab for cutie, and I fell asleep at the end, so.....
I doubt that'll happen this time around.
4. Writing
I need to do more of it. There's this and my tumblr.
5. TV
I dled and watched all of the Mighty Boosh while I was in Korea. I now understand Noel Fielding's bizarre charm. But I must say I prefer Julian.
NBC comedy block - Community, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation
Community has some great, really excellent episodes, but I think their season cohesiveness is lacking, as is the overall arc. Troy and Abed remain my favorites of everything though.
30 rock - I dip in and out of the episodes with no real attachment to any of the characters. They're amusing, like well written skits of SNL.
Parks and Recreation - everyone's new girlfriend. I love that my friends love this - I've seen the first season and part of the new season, and....I like it, it's pleasant, but I'm not in love.
Bob's Burgers - a Judy Blume novel meets Monty Python and Sesame Street. I just watched the entire season recently, and I don't know, it appeals to me more than the Simpsons, Family Guy or American Dad. The kids are so weird and bizarre and yet recognizable. And I love Kristen Schaal's voice.
Maybe I just really miss the Venture Brothers. That could be it.
Neil Gaiman's Dr. Who Episode. If anyone can make me watch Dr. Who (I've never been interested in the mythology despite my affection for Wales and odd men in phone boxes), it is Uncle Neil. I liked it. And I do not wish to seek out more. Feel free to shun me.
6. my itouch
Even though I basically spent 400 dollars to use a mp3 player as a camera, it has turned out to be a great purchase, and I'm glad I did it. My favorite apps - hipstamatic, camera+, stitcher, meebo, tweetdeck, talkatone, swankolab, This American Life, iHome + Sleep, AppShopper, and Van Pershing (I still can't get past level 5!). I just started playing Words With Friends, and even though I may be the queen of 7 point words, it's still something.
7. donut holes & walking
Since I share the car, I've been walking more often. Not to the library, as that's too far, but to places like the grocery store and the bowling alley and okay, the donut shop that exists in nearly every town. The one that's in a strip mall.
Donut holes are my new indulgence. They're the perfect size and just the right amount of sweetness (I like the original glazed the best over the cakey, powdered ones) and they're cheap. So yay, donut holes.
8. digital mix tapes
There are tons here and I am downloading every one of them, you better believe.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-05-20 07:43 pm (UTC)I'm excited for you on going back to Korea. I wish I had the immense patience it took to teach. I'd love to spend more time in Asia, but it seems the only way to do that is teach. And I... don't like children.
Yay for cat-ladyness! I'm mostly there already. I have four cats (technically only two are mine, so somehow that makes it better?), and I'm constantly wanting more. I'm afraid I'm going to end up one of those animal hoarders with 100 cats in their house being all "I only wanted to help them"... I can see my future, and it is not terribly bright.
I've actually been contemplating watching Dr. Who. Everyone ever always raves about it, and I DO like British TV. Yet somehow it seems boring. Sci-fi was never much my thing (despite all signs to the contrary - Yes, I adored Star Wars far more than I should have).
I've heard mixed reviews on Swankolab - is it worth it? I love love LOVE Hipstamatic, but I'm wary of the related apps for some reason I cannot fully define.
Thanks for the link to the digital mix tapes. One of my life goals for this year is to listen to new music. Which is difficult for me, because 99% of the time I default to Big Bang, as it takes a LOT for me to like new artists.
And done~
crazy is relative
Date: 2011-05-22 02:39 pm (UTC)I am setting the bar for two cats maximum. First I will adopt Chairman Meow, whereever he may be, and then, the Second Cat.
I was living in London when the first Dr. Who reboot started (with Billie Piper and David Eccleston) and I didn't pick it up then and I doubt I ever will. It's one of the many things other people love that I never clicked with.
Swanko Lab is pretty hit or miss, I do agree, but for 99 cents and the patience to play around with the different formulas so I can make my non hipstamatic photos look hipsta, it's hardly a great indulgence.
Like reading a lot of English books has been my goal, my goal is to go back to English language music - I've been listening to k/j/tw music so much that I'm missing out on the other stuff.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-20 08:56 pm (UTC)I've also been warned about the ending.
Date: 2011-05-22 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-21 12:33 am (UTC)Dostoevsky can just go jump right off that same cliff i told Dickens to jump off of.
You are making me want to read We Have Always Lived In This Castle again, though. it has been ages and i loved it so much the first time around.
You'll get your cat and your house and we'll have our adventures :) I'm looking forward to it. And soon, too...
and my cat will be Chairman Meow!
Date: 2011-05-22 02:31 pm (UTC)Okay, third time's the charm...
Date: 2011-05-21 01:17 am (UTC)You have a Tumblr? Neat! I just added you. I'm becauseyoulisten (http://becauseyoulisten.tumblr.com/) over there. I hate how Tumblr's not really conducive to commenting or making friends in the way that LJ is, but it's fun. All I do is reblog pretty pictures.
But what I really wanted to point out:
I dled and watched all of the Mighty Boosh while I was in Korea. I now understand Noel Fielding's bizarre charm. But I must say I prefer Julian.
YOU PREFER JULIAN! *high-five*
Re: Okay, third time's the charm...
Date: 2011-05-21 01:36 am (UTC)I *do* prefer Julian. It's weird, because Noel has all the trademarks that I have leaned toward to in the past - but there's something so remarkably endearing about Julian and his sense of humor. Plus the jazz thing, it's so delightfully - like, I can see he has a passion for it, and it reminds me about all the things that I love and that not everyone necessarily gets or appreciates.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-22 04:57 am (UTC)Also, totally unrelated:
IT'S LIKE THE SOUNDTRACK TO MY CHILDHOOD.
now I know what the term righteous fro means
Date: 2011-05-22 02:30 pm (UTC)I think I saw Lion King 4 times in the theater. It was one of those event movies for me. Death Cab falling asleep to is okay if you are actually just listening to it on your ipod, but I paid 70 bucks for that ticket. Not an exhilarating live band, is what I'm saying.